I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Randomize
