He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
