Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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