someone get that fucking seahorse.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
