Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
