i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
