oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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