It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Randomize
