Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
