If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
