If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
should my penis look like a turkey
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
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