It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
