omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
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