I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
