it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.�
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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