dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
