So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
