just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
he high fived his dick after we had sex
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
