umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
You are the jesus of drinking
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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