Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Randomize
