mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize
