4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
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