If that was your dad, he is hot
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Randomize
