He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Randomize
