he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Randomize
