Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
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