sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
