dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Randomize
