My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Randomize
