Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
