Its about making memories worth repressing
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
