So drunk its hurt
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
A+ Viking dick
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
