Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
