I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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