We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
