WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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