i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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