I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
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