Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
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