Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Randomize
