Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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