Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize
