ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
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