when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
if only i could text you this smell
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
