I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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