if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
He shit in the fireplace
Randomize
