Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
