Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Randomize
