So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
