do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
